one sentence i happened to read somewhere online last night seemed to set things off. it had several parts upset and was related to how those who hurt us often were nice and did things in ways that you wouldn’t think an abuser would do. that is what confused one part who is quite young. she thought that someone we were close to really did care about her/us (he really did). he was nice to us, and i guess she thought that it meant something. but it couldn’t really. we were family. he never did things like that. it was just once, i think. but it is what causes confusion in a child. how can they show kindness and turn around and do something so horrible.

how can they say they love you and be nice and then turn into a monster. and make you be quiet and know you will be out of fear. they know how to work things to their advantage. when they can do it once or twice to test you, they know they can keep doing it. (but they think we are special). it’s not how it should be. it isn’t right.

they took things from us. but it doesn’t matter anymore. not to them. it doesn’t matter how good we are/were. we still got hurt. (that had nothing to do with it.)

are we okay? (i don’t know). i hope so.

they keep asking why. i don’t have the answers. i don’t know why we were hurt like we were. it just happened. too many times.