I have rarely had body memories or what I believe are. Last night I did though. The information I was getting from another part through thoughts was things I have had come up before, but it is hard to know whether it is right or not. Because I don’t have certain memories but have had these strange occurrences of ‘knowing’ things, it still makes it difficult knowing if things are accurate or not or are just some kind of association to things when it might not be what really did happen. The feelings are valid though, but it still is very confusing.

The fear was real. The feelings in general were real. The information behind, I don’t know. I go back and forth with this kind of thing a lot, what is real and what isn’t. I still feel blocks in my head knowing that things are right behind it. I don’t want potentially false memories either though. But when things come up that already did at some point in the past or things feel SO real and familiar, it’s hard to know. The fact that dissociation has been a part of my life for years probably doesn’t help things either and can distort things.

And of course I don’t have therapy for a little bit as I am going on a trip, so it seems about right that things would come up again.